Category Archives: Florida

Beyond the Mouse: A Real Traveler’s Guide to Florida

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A woman wearing oversized white cartoon gloves, sunglasses, a white shirt, and a dark jacket stands on a grassy roadside with her arms raised in front of the Walt Disney World entrance sign that reads “Where Dreams Come True.” Colorful flags and a castle graphic top the sign, capturing a playful and celebratory moment at the park entrance.

Don’t try this yourself. It’s illegal!

The Happiest Place on Earth… and the Sweatiest

Rats and Mice on barrelsLet’s talk about that tourist trap known as the Happiest Place on Earth — Disney World. I’m not anti‑Disney or anti‑mouse. Mice can be adorable, and who’s cuter than Mickey and Minnie? But Florida is hot, and if you take your vacation in the summer, you can add humidity thick enough to swim through.

And then there are the lines. Disney tried to make things better with FastPass, but I’m not convinced it helped much. Don’t get me wrong — Disney is an amazing place. I once dragged my friend and her kids there because I thought it would be magical. Spoiler: it wasn’t. The kids whined, the adults wilted, and it turned into one of the most exhausting vacations I’ve ever taken.

Ironically, the big hit of that trip wasn’t Disney at all — it was the Serpentarium. Cheaper, cooler, and the kids loved every minute.

My Disney Resume (and Why Animal Kingdom Wins)Giraffe

I’ve been to Disney World more times than I can count. My favorite part? Animal Kingdom, for obvious reasons. You get to rumble around in an old safari truck and see genuinely amazing animals. It’s the closest thing Disney has to real adventure.

I’ve also been to Disneyland in California — the original. But honestly? It’s a shadow of the Florida version. If you’re a roller‑coaster person, maybe it’s worth it. But the price tag… let’s just say you shouldn’t need a second mortgage to ride Space Mountain.

The Real Florida: Wild, Wet, and Full of Gators

So what’s truly fun in Florida? For me, it’s the Everglades.

Alligators are everywhere — so common you practically have to watch where you step when you get out of your car. And if you want cute? There’s nothing quite like a mama gator with her babies riding on her back. Alligators are surprisingly good mothers. They guard their nests, stay close to their hatchlings, and the babies even chirp to call their moms.

Shark Valley: Wildlife, Science, and Shade

If you enter the Everglades at Shark Valley, you can take a tram tour led by a biologist who points out everything from alligators to Wood Storks to the occasional deer. They explain the terrain, the ecosystem, and the challenges the Everglades face today. And best of all — it beats walking in the heat.

 

Holiday Park and the Gator Boys

Another fun stop is Holiday Park, once home to the Gator Boys TV show on Animal Planet (2012–2014). They still host alligator shows, and you can hop on an airboat right from there.

Airboats: Florida’s Version of a Thrill Ride

Airboat rides are one of the best ways to experience the Everglades. They’re fast, breezy, loud, and ridiculously fun. The operators slow down to point out wildlife, especially gators. Honestly, it’s almost as much fun as a log ride at Disney — maybe even better.

Final Verdict

Visiting the Mouse is fine. It’s fun, it’s iconic, and everyone should experience it at least once. But me? I’d go back to the Everglades any time. That’s where Florida really comes alive.

Mickey Mouse

Key West: America’s Most Lovably Quirky Island

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A display of decorative metal sun sculptures hanging together at a Key West market, each with a stylized face and radiating flame‑like rays in bronze, copper, and gold tones.

A Republic of Its Own

Have you been to Key West? It’s such a crazy, fun place, and the locals absolutely revel in their uniqueness. Back in 1982, the U.S. Border Patrol set up a checkpoint on the Overseas Highway, causing a 19‑mile backup and choking off tourism — the lifeblood of Key West’s economy. The islanders were furious. Their response? If Washington was going to treat them like a foreign country, they’d become one.

Key West declared independence as The Conch Republic, complete with a flag and passports. As their first act as a sovereign nation, they declared war on the United States, surrendered one minute later, and immediately applied for $1 billion in foreign aid. Feisty doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The Beaches They Built Themselves

Key West is really just a hunk of coral at the tip of Florida, 90 miles from Cuba. Those beautiful sandy beaches? Manmade. Most of the sand was imported — famously from Bermuda — because the island’s natural shoreline is sharp, crusty coral. If you swim in Key Largo, you’ll see what Key West looked like before the makeover: gorgeous water, but the kind of coral that’s anything but gentle on bare feet.

Duval Street: Two Parties, One Night

Walk along Duval Street and you’ll pass Sloppy Joe’s, Hemingway’s old haunt, a few pet iguanas, and more bars than you can count. But New Year’s Eve is when Duval truly shows off its personality.

At one end of the street, a drag queen — all dolled up — drops at midnight while seated in a giant shoe. At the other end, in front of Sloppy Joe’s, a giant conch shell drops. Two countdowns, two crowds, one unforgettable street.

Sunsets, Street Performers, and the Elusive Green Flash

Mallory Square is Key West’s nightly gathering place. Street performers juggle, musicians play, artists sell their work, and everyone drifts toward the pier to watch the sun melt into the ocean. If you’re lucky, you might catch the green flash, that rare split‑second glow as the sun disappears.

Touristy Fun or Island Wandering — Your Choice

Spend your day doing the classic Key West things: visit the small aquarium, take a glass‑bottom boat tour, snorkel, scuba, or kayak. Or skip the itinerary entirely and wander the picturesque streets, ducking into little shops and shady courtyards.

And don’t forget your selfie at the Southernmost Point Buoy. Fun fact: it doesn’t actually mark the true southernmost point of the continental U.S., but it’s been a beloved tourist landmark since 1983.

Chickens, Cats, and Cruise Ships

Chickens roam Key West like they own the place — because they do. And speaking of animals with authority, you have to visit Hemingway’s House. Dozens of polydactyl cats live there, all well cared for and famously photogenic.

Down at the waterfront, it’s fun to watch cruise ships dock while pelicans gather, hoping for snacks and attention.

A Slice of Key Lime Heaven

After a day of exploring, it’s time to relax with a slice of Key Lime pie. Blue Heaven at 729 Thomas Street is often ranked the best on the island. Close seconds include Moondog Café, Kermit’s Key West Lime Shoppe, and Pepe’s Café. Honestly, you can’t go wrong — Key West takes its pie seriously.

Getting There

By Land

Drive the Overseas Highway — 42 bridges and some of the most beautiful water views in the country. It’s the only road in and out, so traffic can get congested. Travel off‑peak if you can. (My goal is to drive it in a flashy, red convertible, well any convertible will do, It doesn’t have to be red. )

By Sea

Many cruise ships leaving Miami include Key West as a port of call on their way to places like Nassau or Cozumel.

By Air

Fly into Key West International Airport, with connections from Miami or Fort Lauderdale.

The Conch Republic Lives On

The Conch Republic didn’t last long, and you don’t need a passport to enter Key West anymore (unless you’re flying, of course). What remains is the spirit: laid‑back, charismatic, proudly eccentric, and endlessly entertaining.

Key West isn’t just a destination — it’s a mood.

 

National Geographic’s 7 Natural Wonders of America

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Wide view of the Grand Canyon showing layered red, orange, and tan rock formations under a clear blue sky. A green tree frames the right side, and sunlight highlights the canyon’s depth and geological details.”

Photo Credit Deb Neumann

What Wonders Await When You Dare to Explore

National Geographic has named seven Natural Wonders of America. It made me pause for a moment and ask myself: Have I explored any of them? As it turns out, I’ve been fortunate enough to experience many of these extraordinary places firsthand.

On the South Rim, Grand Canyon 2008

1. The Grand Canyon — “The Big Ditch”

This destination of a lifetime cannot be fully described. It can be photographed, painted, and praised by poets, but nothing prepares you for the awe of seeing it in person — whether for the first time or the fifth. Eighteen miles wide and over a mile deep, its scale is almost more than the mind can grasp.

I’ve seen it. I’ve stood at the edge and felt that dizzying thrill of peering into the vastness. It takes your breath away every single time.

2. Coastal Redwoods

I have not yet explored the giant sequoias and redwood forests that stretch along the misty northern California coast. I’ve seen enormous trees in other places — including the sprawling banyan trees of Hawaiʻi — but a trip to California’s Redwood forests still waits on my list.

3. Niagara Falls

Truly one of the Wonders of America, Niagara Falls straddles the border between Canada and the USA — a cathedral carved by water and time. The Maid of the Mist heroically plunges into the wild waters at the base of the falls, where the world becomes wind and spray. Down there, the air itself is alive, whipped into motion by the thunderous plunge of millions of gallons of water. Gusts rise and swirl like invisible wings, tugging at your clothes and reminding you that nature still knows how to roar.

If this sounds like I’ve been there, it’s because I have. I’ve seen and felt the power of the falls up close and personal. It is truly a Natural Wonder and one not to be missed.

4. Appalachian Mountains

The Appalachian Mountains stretch roughly 2,000 miles from Alabama to Canada. I grew up in the Adirondack Park, on the shores of Lake George, never realizing that the mountains around me were part of a story far older and wider than my childhood. The Appalachians form a quiet backbone across the eastern states — through the soft Berkshires, the misty Catskills, the deep greens of the Smokies, and the sharp granite of the White Mountains.

The Appalachian Trail threads through many of these ranges, a long wandering line that eventually reaches Maine. When you grow up surrounded by mountains, you don’t always see them as wonders. They’re just there — the shape of your horizon, the backdrop of your summers, the steady presence behind every memory. Only later do you understand that you were living inside an ancient world without ever needing to look for it.

People travel from all over to experience these unspoiled mountain parks. But I grew up in them.

 

5. The Everglades

The Everglades is a slow — very slow — moving river in subtropical Florida. It’s a mix of fresh and salt water and home to an astonishing diversity of wildlife: wading birds with enormous wingspans, prehistoric reptiles like alligators and crocodiles, and rare creatures such as sea turtles, the Miami-blue butterfly, and the elusive Florida panther.

What most people don’t realize is that the Everglades is not just a national park — this ecosystem covers one-third of the entire state. It encompasses nine distinct habitats, from mangroves to sawgrass prairies.

Today, the Everglades faces threats from invasive species like Burmese pythons, which thrive in the warm climate and have no natural predators. Still, I’ve been there. I love it — even in the heat and humidity — and I would go back in a heartbeat. It’s wild and beautiful.

Old Faithful Erupts6. Yellowstone National Park

Another of my favorite places. When you realize you are walking, hiking, and driving inside the caldera of an enormous volcano, it can boggle the mind. Hot springs, bubbling mud pots, steaming geysers — everywhere you turn, you’re surrounded by nature’s raw power.

And then there’s the wildlife: deer, elk, bison, pronghorn, wolves, bears, coyotes, and foxes. If you love wild creatures, you are in the right place.

 

I’ve been to Yellowstone, and even after a week of exploring, I only scratched the surface of its wonders.

7. Hawaiʻi Volcanoes

I love all the places on National Geographic’s list, but Hawaiʻi’s volcanoes hold a special place in my heart. From Haleakalā — the House of the Sun — to Hawaiʻi Volcanoes National Park with the very active Kīlauea, these landscapes take my breath away.

Haleakalā is a beautiful moonscape of ochre and red cinder cones. Often a shifting layer of clouds lies between you and the valley floor.

Kīlauea erupted almost continuously for 35 years, reshaping the island with lava flows and glowing lakes of molten rock. I’ve missed most of her dramatic displays — she’s been quiet during my visits — but I’ve walked through a lava tube and seen the red glow from the crater. Maybe someday Pele will show herself when I’m there.

A Grateful Journey

And that’s the list, according to National Geographic. Writing about these places has been a wonderful trip down memory lane. I have so much to be thankful for — to have visited so many of America’s most wondrous landscapes.

Egret, Florida

 

Florida Looked Good… Until the Flying Cockroaches

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At my age, if I wake up and nothing hurts, I assume I’m dead. My knees are getting to the point where they ache even when I’m lying in bed at night. That walker in the corner from my hip replacement is starting to look pretty good these days. And now my shoulders have joined the chorus.

At first, I blamed the cold weather — snow, sub‑zero temps, the whole New England winter package. Suddenly, Florida was looking really good. I was serious enough that I actually considered selling my condo and heading south.

 

But then reality set in.
Sorry, JR… looks like any move is officially on hold.

There are plenty of reasons to think twice about relocating to the Sunshine State. And no, I’m not even going to get into the political atmosphere — we’ll leave that simmering on the back burner.

Florida Wildlife (a.k.a. My Deal‑Breakers)

The number one reason I’m having second thoughts? Palmetto bugs.

I hate — no, that’s not strong enough — I abhor cockroaches. We had an issue in our building here in Taunton this year, but at least the management company jumped on it immediately and brought in pest control. I have NEVER lived anywhere with bugs, and I have no intention of starting now.

So what are Palmetto bugs?
Well, imagine giant flying cockroaches. That’s it. That’s the whole horror story.

And if that’s not enough, Florida also has killer bees, fire ants, swarms of mosquitoes, and snakes. Really big snakes. The state is being invaded by pythons and anacondas. In the immortal words of Indiana Jones: “Snakes… why did it have to be snakes?”

 

Then there’s Florida’s unofficial mascot: the alligator. They don’t bother me too much — they were there first, after all. The whole state is basically one big tropical swamp. You might even spot a Skunk Ape on a lonely road at night if you’re lucky… or unlucky.

 

More Reasons to Skip Florida

I gave up on Hawaii because the cost of living was outrageous, and Florida seems determined to follow in its footsteps.

1. The cost of living can outpace your budget

Housing prices are soaring, homeowners’ insurance is skyrocketing, and the overall cost of living keeps climbing. The median home value is already higher than the national average, and insurance premiums are only going to rise thanks to hurricanes, tropical storms, and rising sea levels.

2. The heat and humidity can get oppressive

Your utility bills will shoot through the roof as you try to survive the summer with nonstop air conditioning. “Hot and sticky” becomes a lifestyle.

3. Health care isn’t as accessible as you’d expect

You’d think a state full of retirees would have a seamless health care system — but that’s exactly the problem. The demand is enormous, especially in big cities. Long wait times, crowded facilities, and high costs are common.
A study from Fidelity Investments estimates that a 65‑year‑old couple retiring in Florida would need around $315,000 just for health care in retirement.

4. Fraud is a real concern

Florida has some of the highest rates of elder fraud in the country. According to the FBI’s 2024 Elder Fraud Report, seniors lost $4.8 billion nationally — and Florida was in the top three states for losses. Not exactly comforting.

5. No income tax sounds great… until it isn’t

The lack of state income tax means the state has less money to invest in infrastructure. Florida earned a “C” rating from the American Society of Civil Engineers. Aging roadways, limited public transit, and inadequate wastewater systems don’t exactly scream “retirement paradise.”

Bottom Line

For now, I’ll stay put and deal with the cold and snow. Massachusetts isn’t the best state for retirees — it’s expensive, and winter is no joke — but we have excellent health care, and I have my condo. I’m settled, at least for the moment.

 

And honestly? Waking up with a few aches and pains may not be fun… but it’s still better than waking up next to a giant flying cockroach.

 

It’s Raining …Lizards?

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🦎 When Florida Gets Chilly and Iguanas Start Falling: A Horror Story in Three Acts

Looks like a crime scene

On this, the coldest day of the year so far, it feels like the perfect moment to remind everyone that not everything in South Florida is oranges and sunshine. They get cold too — and when they do, it doesn’t just rain. It rains iguanas.

Every region has its own brand of weather drama.
New England gets nor’easters.
The Midwest gets tornadoes.
Florida?
Florida gets frozen iguanas falling out of trees like scaly Christmas ornaments.

Yes, this is real.
Yes, it happens every winter.
And yes, your skeptical friend is welcome to Google it — preferably while standing under a sturdy awning.

❄️ Why Iguanas Go Full “Fainting Goat”

Iguanas are cold‑blooded, which means when temperatures dip below about 45°F, their bodies hit the reptile version of “sleep mode.” They lose muscle control, freeze in place, and if they happen to be lounging in a tree — as iguanas love to do — gravity politely escorts them to the ground.

It’s not elegant.
>It’s not graceful.
>It’s not quiet.

But it is science.

🦎 Are They Dead?

Usually not. They’re just cold‑stunned, which is nature’s way of saying, “Hold on, rebooting…” Once the sun comes back out, they thaw, blink, and wander off like nothing happened — leaving bewildered humans clutching their coffee and questioning reality.

 

 

🗣️ Try Explaining This to a Doubter

This is where the fun begins.
You get to say things like:

  • “No, really, they fall.”
  • “No, they’re not dead.”
  • “Yes, Florida officials warn people about it.”
  • “No, I’m not confusing this with a Syfy movie.”

Honestly, the only thing more Florida than falling iguanas is someone insisting it doesn’t happen.

🐊 Meanwhile, in the Florida Horror Cinematic Universe…

Let’s be honest: Florida doesn’t need help being terrifying.
This is the same state that gave us:

  • Alligators in swimming pools
  • Snakes in toilets
  • And the pièce de résistance: flying cockroaches (politely rebranded as “Palmetto bugs,” as if a cute name makes them less horrifying)

So yes — iguanas falling from trees during a cold snap fits right in. It’s practically a documentary waiting to happen.

🎬 In Closing 

If Stephen King ever runs out of ideas, he doesn’t need to look far — he just needs a lawn chair, a cold front, and a South Florida tree full of iguanas.