A Short Break

Posted on May 4, 2014May 4, 2014 by Dusty Roads

It’s been an emotional week. Not all bad by any means. I received a promotion at work which means more money and new challenges. That’s good.

Smokey was laid to rest. That was bad, at least emotionally draining.

I’ve been commuting to Somerville 1 1/2 – 2 hours each way in grid lock traffic for training.

That’s bad. When I finish there I turn around and rush home to finish off my regular work until 9 pm.

Bottom line, I’m tired. I can’t think straight. So I hope you won’t mind if I take a brief break to recharge and retrench. I’ll be back with new posts in say 5 -7 days? After All, we have a vacation soon and I need to pull myself together so I can tell you all about that.

I also want to thank everyone for their kind comments and condolences. It means more to me than you can possibly know. Thank you all!

Thanks Bunches 🙂

RIP Smokey

Posted on May 3, 2014May 3, 2014 by Dusty Roads

My beloved pet, Smokey crossed the Rainbow Bridge this morning at 11:25. It was time. He went peacefully surrounded by his human friends Thank you for all the happy times, cuddles and purrs. Rest in Peace my loyal friend.

1997- 2014

The Rainbow Bridge

Posted on May 3, 2014May 3, 2014 by Dusty Roads

Smokey and I have an appointment this morning. His tumor has grown to the point that he is drooling long, strings of drool. He is eating but I don’t see him drinking much. I make sure he has wet food, the kind with the gravy, and he eats baby food from a spoon. It’s my feeble attempt to keep him hydrated. He still climbs onto my lap for cuddles and I do my best to gently dry his chest hair and comb out the matted tangles caused by the drool.

He never opens his eyes wide anymore and he has stopped playing. He watches the other 2 cats with interest while they play but doesn’t try to join in. His mouth must be causing him pain because he tries not to put his head down on his paws. It’s sad to see him trying to prop his head on the edge of a pillow or side of the cat bed. He sits or stands on my lap for hours but won’t lie down and rest his head.

I swear he has lost more weight. He is a skeleton with hair. I cry for what he’s going through and I cry for what I have to do. I need to give him his release. We’ll visit the vet for the last time today.

May Day

Posted on May 2, 2014May 2, 2014 by Dusty Roads

So what did you do yesterday? May 1st, May Day, is supposed to be a Spring Festival. In my mind I see sunshine, flowers, and children dancing around the May pole or at least playing with those long, loopy ribbons.

May first around here was more like April 1st. Rainy again but it did warm up in the afternoon. Still anyone dancing around a Maypole today would have to be puddle jumping too.

May Day is related to the Celtic festival of Beltane. The maypole dance comes to us from the Druids of the British Isles, with May Day—May 1—being the second-most-important holiday of their year, because it brought with it the Beltane festival and the observation of pagan fertility rites. May 1 was seen as the beginning of a new year, and fires were lit as part of the celebration.

As Europe became Christianized, the pagan holidays lost their religious character and either changed into popular secular celebrations, as with May Day, or were merged with or replaced by new Christian holidays as with Christmas, Easter, and All Saint’s Day.

I’ve never seen a Maypole or a Beltane celebration but I think a nice sunny day of dancing and flowers is just what we all need these days.

Kitty Hospice

Posted on May 1, 2014May 1, 2014 by Dusty Roads

I think of this time with Smokey as a Kitty Hospice. I’m glad I work from home and can be here for him. I want him to spend as many of his final days in his home as possible. I’ve heard that some vets will come to the home to euthanize a pet but I don’t think my vet does that.

My vet specializes in cats and is a very caring lady. My pet sitter when I vacation is also a vet tech in her office. I never worry about “the boys” when she takes care of them.

Even before I knew that Smokey had cancer I knew he wasn’t doing well. I was watching him closely. I had this feeling that some morning I would wake up and he’d be gone, dead in his sleep. I still hope that’s the way he goes but it doesn’t seem likely.

So he’s home and I’m trying to make him comfortable. He is still managing to eat and I saw him drinking from the water bowl this morning so he still has that much function of his tongue and that’s the key. Once he can’t eat and drink it will be time to make a decision.

My vet says they have pain meds they can give him so he’ll spend his final days in a happy haze. So far I haven’t asked for them. He doesn’t seem to be to be hurting. It’s just hard to tell. Cats mask it so well.

Anyone with experience with this, please offer suggestions. The last cat I lost was Little Joe. He had cancer too. His was in his stomach and the vet I had at that time didn’t find it until little Joe had stopped eating and drinking. He’d had it for at least 3 months and as the tumor in his stomach grew he slowly starved to death. I can’t imagine his suffering and to this day I feel so guilty that I didn’t end it for him sooner. I don’t want to do that to Smokey.

“They” say that when it’s time your pet will let you know. Obviously I missed that message with Little Joe. How can I be sure I’ll recognize it with Smokey?