Tag Archives: Balboa

Certified Innocent (According to Them)

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Life with cats is nothing of not entertaining.

The Innocence Project

It’s time for an installment of the The Banner & Balboa Show: Starring Two Cats and One Exhausted Human

The Quirky Lives of Banner and Balboa: A Household Run by Cats

Every cat owner knows the truth: you don’t live with cats — you simply coexist with tiny, furry agents of chaos who believe your home is their personal amusement park. And honestly? They’re not wrong.

Scrolling through Facebook the other day, I saw a meme that said:
“You’re not a cat owner until you hear something crash at 3 a.m. and decide it’s a problem for tomorrow.”
And I thought… yes. Yes, that is the entire biography of my household.

Because if there’s one thing Banner and Balboa excel at, it’s quirks. Endless, baffling, hilarious quirks.

The Morning Indy 500

Every morning, without fail, the boys kick off their day with what I can only describe as the Feline Grand Prix.

The track layout changes daily, but the highlights include:

  • Up the cat tree
  • Over the TV stand
  • A dramatic leap over the cat fountain
  • A full‑speed sprint down the hall
  • A victory lap into the bedroom
  • And then… repeat.
    And repeat.
    And repeat.

Coffee doesn’t wake me up.
The thunder of tiny paws does.

Banner: The Social Butterfly With a Heated Seat Obsession

Banner is the friendliest cat on the planet. He would greet a burglar with a head‑butt and a purr. Delivery drivers? His best friends. Random dog walking by? He’s already planning a meet‑and‑greet. I swear, if I ever lose him, he’ll be in someone’s yard introducing himself like he’s running for office.

But his real quirk?
The stove.

The moment the oven turns on, Banner materializes like a summoned demon and plants himself directly on the stovetop. Not near it. Not beside it. On it. Because apparently nothing warms his royal backside quite like preheating to 350°.

I’ve tried explaining the concept of “danger” to him. He disagrees.

Balboa: The Dramatic Artist, Professional Nap Innovator

Balboa, meanwhile, is a creature of comfort and questionable decisions.

One afternoon, I walked into the kitchen and found him curled up — peacefully, smugly — inside a glass bowl. A bowl meant for salad. A bowl that was absolutely not meant to contain a 14‑pound panther‑cat. But there he was, looking like a furry croissant, proud of his new life choice.

He also believes the bed belongs entirely to him. If I get up in the night, he immediately stretches out to full length like he’s claiming territory for the crown. Returning to bed becomes a negotiation.

The 3 A.M. Symphony

Every cat owner knows the sound.

That unmistakable, horrifying, adrenaline‑spiking noise:
Huuuuurk… huuuurk… HUUURK.

Forget alarm clocks. The sound of a cat about to puke will launch you out of bed with Olympic speed. Too bad it always happens at 3 a.m., when your brain is still buffering.

And of course, once you’re up, Banner and Balboa assume it’s breakfast time. Or playtime. Or “let’s stare at the wall for no reason” time.

Doors? Cabinets? Mere Suggestions.

Need a bit of light? Banner will turn it on for you. He’s mastered the art of flipping the switch with his teeth, leaving behind tiny bite marks as his signature. Nothing like walking into a room at 3 a.m. to find the lights blazing and Banner looking very pleased with his electrical handiwork.

Light Switch with Banner’s tooth mark

Both boys have mastered the art of opening things that should remain closed.

Cabinet doors? Easy.
Bedroom doors? Child’s play.
Privacy? A myth.

When Balboa was little, he used to squeeze under the counter next to the dishwasher like a tiny mouse. Now that he’s too big to fit, he simply opens the cabinet under the sink and climbs in that way.

Banner, meanwhile, sits outside the opening like he’s watching a nature documentary. He can stare at that hole for hours, waiting for Balboa to reappear like a groundhog predicting spring.

Life With Cats: A Comedy, A Mystery, A Warm Fuzzy Mess

Living with Banner and Balboa means:

  • Never eating alone
  • Never sleeping alone
  • Never having a moment of silence
  • And never, ever being bored

Their quirks are ridiculous, inconvenient, and occasionally hazardous to my sanity — but they’re also the reason the house feels alive.

Because at the end of the day, nothing beats a warm purr, a head‑butt, or the sight of a cat proudly sitting in a bowl he absolutely does not fit in.

Life with cats isn’t perfect.
But it’s perfectly theirs.

 

Spring in New England

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Ah Spring: A Season That Arrives When It Feels Like It

Daffodils are a sure sign spring is upon us

A Poem From the Past

Every now and then, a memory from childhood pops up and refuses to leave. Recently, I found myself thinking about a play we did in school — a bunch of hillbillies, a lot of flannel, and one truly unforgettable poem. It went something like this:

Spring has sprung,  
The skunks air out.  
Spring has sprung — just sniff about.  
Mating time is drawing near,  
You can smell it in the air.

Not exactly Shakespeare, but it captured something very real about spring in New England: you don’t need a calendar to tell you it’s coming. Your nose will do the job just fine.

The Calendar Says Spring… But New England Has Other Plans

Technically — officially — scientifically — spring begins on March 20 this year. The equinox arrives, the sun crosses the celestial equator, and somewhere far away, flowers bloom on cue.

But here in New England?
We don’t buy it.

Around here, spring doesn’t start when the calendar says so. Spring starts when the Red Sox take the field at Fenway Park. That’s the moment the region collectively thaws, stretches, and decides maybe — just maybe — winter is finally loosening its grip.

And since Opening Day at Fenway is April 3 this year, I guess true spring will be running a little late. Again.

Local Wildlife Confirms the Delay

If you need further proof, just ask the skunks. They’ve already begun their annual “perfume tour,” leaving unmistakable reminders that love is in the air — whether we want it or not. Nothing says spring quite like cracking open a window for fresh air and immediately regretting it.

Even the Cats Know Spring Is a Moving Target

Banner and Balboa have their own opinions about the season. Banner has already begun his warm‑weather routine of turning on lights with his teeth — a helpful service at 3 a.m., apparently. Balboa, meanwhile, has resumed his post by the sliding door, watching for birds, squirrels, and anything else that might signal the world is waking up.

They’re not convinced it’s spring yet either. And honestly? I trust their instincts more than the meteorologists.

Spring Will Get Here… Eventually

So while the rest of the country celebrates the equinox, we’ll be here in New England waiting for the crack of the bat, the roar of Fenway, and that first warm day that doesn’t immediately get followed by a frost warning.

Spring comes late here.
But when it finally arrives, it’s worth the wait.

 

One More Thing

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One more Thing

I forgot one other noteworthy accomplishment from that memorable week. Banner and Balboa had their annual check ups. No surprises. Both are healthy and happy. Banner was his normal inquisitive and friendly self. Balboa hid and refused to come out. Of course being black he was really hard to find because he blended in the shadows behind the furniture and under the bed.

The Vet

Our Vet is Dr. Ross from Ross Veterinary House Calls. She is wonderful and I am so happy to have found her. I love that she comes to the house so the cats don’t get stressed out. Of course Balboa stresses out over everything and anything out of the ordinary. But we try. She was so calm and quiet when we were all trying to get him out from behind the computers. When he finally did come out I had taken myself out of the search to limit the number of people chasing him so he went to her.

Banner

Banner is my big guy and not surprising he was overweigh but not by much. Dr. Ross said to make sure he maintained and didn’t gain any more. Easier said than done with Banner. His idea of a strenuous play session is to lie on his side and bat at any toy that manages to roll his way. Chase it? What’s that? Hunt it? I don’t think so! And he certainly won’t jump and grab. Banner weighted in at a whopping 15.1  lbs! Carrying him around is like lifting weights.

My little helper

 

Balboa

Balboa, once we caught him, was the surprise. I always think of him as my shiny, sleek house panther. I knew he wasn’t anywhere near as heavy as Banner.  Where Banner is a lump on the floor, Balboa  is always up high on the back of a chair or the top of the wardrobe. When we play Balboa is like a Flying Wallenda! You can imagine my surprise when my high flying super cat turned out to be overweight too! For his slender body type Dr. Ross said he should weigh no more than 10 lbs. OOPS! Balboa weighed 11.2 lbs.

Balboa reaches new Heights

 

TOYS, TOYS and MORE TOYS

When we pulled the old stove out I found out where all of the missing toys had gone. Before the new stove was delivered I filled a box with all of the balls and toys from under the old stove. No need to buy any more for awhile!