mischief Archives

The WMEO Household: Where Toilet Paper Goes to Die

Today is National ToiletPaper Day. Yes that bathroom essential has a day of its own.

Toilet paper is one of those everyday items we barely think about — unless you live with two cats who treat it like a recreational sport. Banner and Balboa are so enamored with toilet paper that I eventually had to remove the wall‑mounted holder entirely.

Not because I wanted to. Not because it looked better. But because every time I left the holder empty, my housekeeper would helpfully put a fresh roll back on it.

I tried to explain why a roll on the holder is basically an invitation for chaos, but the concept of cat‑induced toilet paper carnage didn’t quite land.

So the holder had to go. Now the roll sits upright on a pole like some kind of minimalist sculpture — safe from paws, safe from shredding, safe from becoming avant‑garde hallway décor.

Toilet Paper Art: A WMEO Tradition

Before the Great Holder Removal, Banner and Balboa created masterpieces. Long ribbons. Confetti explosions. Entire rolls dragged triumphantly across the floor like festive parade streamers.

They weren’t being naughty — they were being artists. Expensive artists. But artists nonetheless.

And they’re not alone. The internet is full of cats who share this obsession. Toilet paper is apparently the universal feline muse.

A Brief Moment of TP Panic: The 2020 Shortage

Of course, toilet paper became internationally famous in 2020 when the COVID pandemic hit and people started stockpiling it like it was currency. Shelves were empty, stores were rationing rolls, and everyone suddenly became very aware of how much TP they used.

Meanwhile, in the WMEO household, Banner and Balboa were living in blissful ignorance — happily shredding rolls like tiny furry anarchists while the rest of the world was treating toilet paper like gold bullion.

If they had known how valuable it was at the time, they would have demanded velvet ropes and museum lighting for their “installations.”

A Surprisingly Fascinating History

Toilet paper may seem simple, but its history is anything but:

Ancient Romans used communal sponges on sticks. Communal.
China was producing toilet paper by the 6th century, and by the 14th century they were making millions of packages a year.
In 1391, Chinese royalty used perfumed toilet paper made exclusively for the emperor.
Early Americans repurposed leaves, corn cobs, newspapers, and famously the Sears catalog — so popular that Farmer’s Almanac started pre‑drilling holes for outhouse hanging.
Modern toilet paper arrived in 1857, marketed as “Medicated Paper for the Water Closet.”
Perforated rolls appeared in 1890, courtesy of the Scott Paper Company.
Colored toilet paper was a 1950s décor trend until they realized the dyes weren’t great for humans or plumbing.
And yes — someone makes 22‑carat gold toilet paper costing over $1.3 million a roll. Truly flushing money away.
Conservationists cringe but one person’s lifetime usage of toilet paper, if made from virgin paper, would take around 384 trees to make! Of course, using toilet paper that has been recycled from other purposes helps to cut down on this extensively.

How Cats Celebrate National Toilet Paper Day

Some cats nap. Some cats chase toys. Banner and Balboa? They honor the ancient traditions of their ancestors by shredding toilet paper with the passion of tiny furry historians.

Balboa prefers the dramatic “confetti bomb” technique. Banner goes for long, elegant ribbons. Together, they create installations that would impress even the Romans — and those people used sponges on sticks.

Conclusion: Toilet Paper Is Fun

Who knew toilet paper had such a wild history? And who knew two cats could make it even wilder?

Around here, it’s never dull — especially when toilet paper is involved.

Rocky must have been feeling left out since Buddy was getting all of the attention. I had to protect the tree didn’t I?

So while Buddy attacked the Christmas tree, Rocky went missing. I saw him head into the bedroom but he usually doesn’t spend much time there if Buddy and I are in the living room so when he didn’t come back I began to get a little concerned. After all, he’s no spring chicken at 13.

I tried calling him..no luck . Not even an answering meow. I looked under the bed, in the closet, even opened the bottom drawers of the dresser. No cat. Buddy was at my feet but he wasn’t any help unless tripping me counted.

The tree box was standing on end at the bottom of my bed. I took a chance and peaked in the tree box and there was a little ginger face looking back at me. He got in and couldn’t get back out. I tipped the box on its side and Rocky flew out like he was shot from a cannon. Once out he gave himself a lick and a shake and walked off as if nothing happened.

Today Rocky gave me my Christmas present. A little late but no less sweet.

Rocky and I used to play fetch. He could go at the game for hours. The rules were simple. Rocky would bring a mousie to me and I’d throw it. He would retrieve it and bring it back and I’d throw it again. I was always careful to follow the rules because if I changed them he’d quit. He’d quit if Smokey decided to join in too. It was a very sensitive balance.

Smokey

Since Smokey passed over the rainbow bridge Rocky hasn’t once brought a toy mouse to me to play fetch. Oh he plays with the toys but like a normal cat. I tried to get him to play a few times and he’d just walk away.

Well today he brought me a toy mouse and laid it at my feet. I picked it up and you could see his body tense, a sure sign he wanted me to throw it. So I did and held my breathe. Yes! He took off after the toy, caught it and proudly brought it back. We played like that for about 10 minutes until the mouse took a bad bounce and escaped under the china cabinet.

In spite of my best effort to rescue it the momentum was lost but for a few minutes we’d enjoyed a fun game that I thought was in the past.

Thanks Rocky 🙂

(The cat picture with the mouse in its mouth isn’t mine nor is it of Rocky. I have never been able to capture that shot but this is exactly how Rocky looks. The same look in his eyes. Nice shot whoever took this.)