Bald Is Beautiful (But Not for Cat Furniture)

Banner and Balboa exploring the new cat tree 2023


🐾 The Balding Cat Tree Chronicles

When Inspiration Hits at the Worst Possible Time

There are days when I can’t think of a single blog idea, and then there are days like today — when I’m running late, haven’t even finished my coffee, and suddenly inspiration hits me right between the eyes.

The Shocking Discovery

I walked past the cat tree and froze.
Not because a cat was dangling off it like a circus performer.
Not because someone had knocked it over again.
No.
Because the thing is bald.

 

I’m talking down to the plywood, like a bar of hotel soap that’s been used by every guest since 1998. The once‑fluffy carpeting is now a memory, a suggestion, a rumor. If you squint, you can almost imagine what it used to look like.

Gratitude… Sort Of

Now, logically, I should be thrilled. If Banner and Balboa are scratching the cat tree, they’re not scratching my furniture. That’s a win. A victory. A tiny miracle. I should be doing a celebratory lap around the living room.

But here’s the thing:
Cat trees are not cheap.
And being on a fixed income means I can’t just stroll into PetSmart, point at the deluxe model, and say, “Wrap it up, boys.”

The GoFundMe That Will Never Be

So naturally, my brain — helpful as ever — whispered,
“Maybe you should start a GoFundMe for a new cat tree.”
Don’t worry. I’m kidding.
(Probably.)

The Boys Take Credit

Meanwhile, Banner and Balboa are standing proudly beside their handiwork like tiny contractors who just completed a major renovation. If you ask them, the exposed wood is a design choice. Very modern. Very minimalist. Very ‘we did this on purpose, Mom.’

Balboa even sat on the top perch, surveying the room like a king on a throne made of splinters. Banner, of course, immediately tried to chew the corner, because why not add dental work to the list of future expenses.

Turning Chaos Into Content

So here I am, running late, staring at a cat tree that looks like it’s been through a war, and thinking, “Well… at least it’s a blog post.”

And honestly? That’s the joy of living with cats. They destroy things, they cost money, they shed on everything you own — and somehow, they still give you something to laugh about on a Tuesday morning when you’re already behind schedule.

Stay tuned. The boys are already eyeing the curtains, so I’m sure Part Two is coming.


 

Introducing MeoWant-A Cat Centric Partnership

MeoWant Joins the Family

I got invited to be an affiliate for Meowant, a company that leans into the techy side of cat care — think automated litter boxes, smart cleaning systems, a sleek pet fountain, air purifiers, and a grooming kit. If you’re someone who loves automation and gadgets that make pet care easier, they’ve got a surprisingly robust lineup. Check out the full line up here

A must have litter box for your cat. Makes cleanup a breeze

Around here, we’re still using our trusty old fountain (it has a few good years left in it), and automated litter boxes aren’t the best match for Banner’s… creative output style. But plenty of cat households swear by automated setups, and Meowant has several options for people who like their pet gear on the high‑tech side.

For now, I’m giving them a cozy little spot in Dusty’s Picks — a soft hello while we see where the partnership goes and whether their catalog grows into something that fits our home even better down the line. In the meantime thier web page has lots of cute cat pictures. Check it out here.


 

National Cat Lady Day: I Was Born Ready

 

Long live the Cat Ladies.
Endorsed by the Feline Nap Authority.

 National Cat Lady Day

Today is National Cat Lady Day, which is really just a polite way of saying “the cats were already in charge, but now it’s official.”

Banner and Balboa have graciously allowed me to observe the holiday by:

  • Providing snacks on demand
  • Serving as a heated lap accessory
  • Accepting that every chair is a cat chair
  • And remembering that I am merely the staff

If you, too, have ever canceled plans because a cat fell asleep on you, congratulations — you’re celebrating correctly.

Long live the Cat Ladies.
Endorsed by the Feline Nap Authority.

 


 

A Day in the Life of a Cat‑Owned Human

No one sulks better than Balboa

The Nighttime Opera & Ribcage Choreography

Some days, I swear Banner and Balboa hold secret meetings to plan my downfall. Today was one of those days.

After a night of absolutely no sleep — Banner performing his midnight opera and Balboa practicing his interpretive dance across my ribcage — I thought I’d grab a nap. A simple nap. A human right.

But no.

The Recliner Betrayal

The power went out for TMLP’s pole work, which meant my recliner was frozen in the upright position like a stubborn monument. So I crawled back into bed, hoping for ten minutes of peace.

That’s when the chaos began.

Chaos Begins: The Water Fountain Crisis

Banner immediately launched into a full‑volume monologue louder than anything he does at night.

He was deeply offended that his royal water fountain had gone silent.
Back and forth he went, inspecting the spout like a tiny plumber.
A single tap on the bowl confirmed his suspicions — and he still wouldn’t take a sip.

The Feline Olympics (Bed Edition)

Balboa turned the bed into a racetrack, sprinting back and forth like he was training for the Feline Olympics. Nothing I did calmed them. Not petting, not bribery, not pleading with the universe.

1st Nap attempt: Denied.

Bathroom Acoustics: Banner Discovers the Tub Echo

I left the bathroom door open. After all, it wasn’t night time and it’s usually open during the day. Big mistake. Banner redirected his efforts from the water fountain to the medicine cabinet. Then he resumed his serenade in the tub. Cries echoing throughout the apartment.

Balboa Adds Counterpoint

Balboa moved to the headboard, racing back and forth and joined in with counterpoint meows.

 

2nd Nap attempt: Denied.

The Printer Incident: Balboa’s Sneak Attack

Later, once the lights came back and I was trying to work on the printer, Balboa pulled his final stunt of the day: he snuck onto my chair just as I was sitting down.

Squash.
One startled human.
One flattened panther‑cat.
Zero apologies from the guilty party.

Ultimate Sulk Fest: Balboa, Wronged Panther‑Cat.

No one sulks better than Balboa

Life With Cats: Zero Peace, Maximum Love

And so it goes.

Life with cats: no sleep, no naps, no personal space… but somehow, still worth every chaotic minute.


 

What if I Won the Lottery

What If I Won the Lottery? Spoiler: Banner Would Demand a Gold-Plated Cat Tree

Chewy

Let’s just say I checked my ticket, fainted dramatically onto a pile of unfolded laundry, and woke up a millionaire. What happens next? Oh, the possibilities.

Real Coffee

First, I’d upgrade my coffee. No more “mystery roast” from the bottom shelf—I’m talking beans hand-whispered to by monks in the Andes. My mornings would begin with a cup so smooth it sings lullabies to your soul. Balboa would get his own mug, because obviously he’s earned it by knocking mine off the counter every day.

You Cant Buy Love But You Can Rescue It Cat Coffee Mugs, Set of 6

Home Sweet Home

Then there’s the house. Not a mansion—too echoey. I’d go for a cozy haven with a waterfall wall, glowing furniture, and a secret room filled entirely with plush throws and scented candles. Banner would have a biometric paw scanner to access his private sunroom, complete with heated cushions and a live-stream of birds who’ve signed a modeling contract.

EXQUISITE Carmel fairytale Cottage, Huge Private gardens! - Carmel | Vrbo

Travel- You Bet

Utah Landscapes - Utah Top Photography Locations • PhotoTraces

I’d travel, of course. Utah’s Mighty Five? Done. I’d hike with a personal sherpa who also moonlights as a poet, narrating my journey in verse while I snack on lavender shortbread. My blog would explode with tales of enchanted canyons and mystical chipmunks who whisper investment advice.

New England Chipmunk

Photo credit Deb Neumann

What Would Happen to My Store

And the store—Welcoming Haven would become Welcoming Heaven. I’d launch a line of nature-themed tech for kids that glows, chirps, and teaches them how to identify clouds by personality. Every product would come with a haiku and a biodegradable glitter packet.

But let’s be honest: I’d still write. Still chase the perfect tagline. Still tell stories about Banner’s dramatic hairball performances and Balboa’s existential stares. Because even with a vault full of cash, the real treasure is sharing the magic of everyday moments—with a little extra sparkle.

photo credit Deb Neumann