Banner Expands His Territory

With the feline peace treaty in full effect, Banner has acquired new territory. He has always been the bathroom cat — you know the type. The cat who has to help you pee in the morning, supervise your tooth‑brushing, and guard you while you shower. He’s the cat who naps in the sink like it’s a spa treatment. He even has his own cat brush hanging on the hook by the sink. But with the Feline Accord in place, there’s been a new development.

The Bathroom Scale Takeover

Banner has apparently taken on a new identity: Bathroom Scale Cat. I don’t know what about that cold little square appeals to him, but he’s claimed it like it’s a premium memory‑foam pet bed. He curls up on it, loafs on it, supervises from it. It’s his throne now. I may need to start weighing myself in the kitchen.

And the way he lies on that scale makes getting on the toilet a challenge. He doesn’t budge an inch — maybe flicks his tail or moves his paw a quarter inch, just enough to acknowledge that yes, he sees me, but no, he will not be relocating. The scale is his territory now, and I am merely a visitor.

The Shower Inspection Committee

This morning, he added a twist to his new role.

I turned on the shower, expecting the usual reaction — Banner hears water, Banner vanishes. That’s been the rule for years. But today? He stretched up on his hind legs like a tiny orange meerkat, peeking over the edge of the tub to watch the water come down. Completely fascinated. Tail relaxed, ears forward, eyes wide. The little man was studying it like he’d been appointed Chair of the Shower Inspection Committee.

And of course — of course — this adorable new behavior happened at the exact moment I did not have my phone. Normally I’d grab it and snap a picture, but I was already in the shower, and there was no way I was sprinting naked through the living room with its giant porch sliders just to document Banner’s sudden interest in hydro‑engineering.

Meanwhile, Balboa…

Every household has that one cat who refuses to participate in the plot. In ours, that’s Balboa. While Banner was conducting his water‑flow analysis, Balboa was sound asleep in his kitty condo, completely ignoring the drama. Not a twitch, not a peep, not even a token supervisory glance. Banner was having his scientific breakthrough, and Balboa was deep in REM sleep, dreaming of snacks and absolutely uninterested in bathroom politics.

Proof of Life (Sans Cat)

Cats always pick the funniest moments to be cute — especially the ones you can’t photograph. But I did get pictures afterward: the famous bathroom scale (sans cat) and the porch sliders I was absolutely not streaking past. Proof of the scene, even if Banner’s cameo was unrecorded.

Some moments are meant to be lived, not captured — but I’ll take the ones I can get.