Housework , if you do it right, will kill you

Housework , if you do it right, will kill you. This is a quote from Erma Bombeck. Do you remember her? She was a very funny writer.  February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996. She would take a look around her and see the humor in everyday lives. In the course of her career she wrote over 4000 newspaper columns about the life of a midwestern suburban housewife. Her columns appeared twice weekly and were read by 30 MILLION readers in 900 newspapers! She was also the author of 15 bestselling books, most collections of short stories about life in the suburbs.

What made me think about Mrs. Bombeck? Quite frankly, envy. I loved her writings. They always made me laugh. I remember one titled “The Grass is always greener over the Septic Tank”. You know, that’s true. We had a regular jungle of healthy green plants growing over ours behind our house. If only the lawn had looked half as lush.

grass

Her stories were short, humorous and contained a kernel of truth. I never would have given that green grass a thought if she hadn’t pointed it out.

And what about those big holiday meals? For years I’ve been saying I cook all day and the meal is over in 30 minutes! Well Erma beat me to it. Her quote was :Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

dinner

So here I am staring at the blank computer screen with a major case of writers block. I haven’t been anywhere lately, the weather has been horrible, (it’s raining cats and dogs and pitch black as I write this) and I just couldn’t think of a thing to say. In desperation I thought I could  gain inspiration like another blogger friend did from the alphabet.

writers-block-motivational-poster

She wrote a blog post for each letter of the alphabet. Author Sue Grafton is wring a whole series of fictional crime novels known as the Alphabet Series (A is for Alibi, etc. ) so it seemed like a good idea but the only thing that I could think of that started with “A” was Arthritis. Unless you’re a doctor I would think that would be a very painful subject.

That’s when I thought of Erma Bombeck. How did she do it? How could she look around  and see something not only worth writing about her everyday surroundings but write it with such humor. She could take everyday events and routines and have wonderful observations. Another example: My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

clean cat

My hat’s off to you Erma Bombeck. If I can be only half as original and funny as you in my feeble writing attempts I will consider myself a success!