WMEO Digs Deeper- What the Cryptids Think

Banner and Balboa at the WMEO anchor desk during a special event, “Cryptids Speak Out.” The background screen features Nessie, Bigfoot, and Mothman, while Balboa sports an “I am not a myth” shirt in support of the evening’s guests.

This is a WMEO Special Event.

Banner: Good evening. Tonight, WMEO makes broadcasting history. Never before have three of the world’s most famous cryptids appeared together for a live television interview. Joining us in the studio are Nessie of Loch Ness, Bigfoot of the Pacific Northwest, and Mothman of West Virginia. Each has faced renewed skepticism in recent weeks, and tonight each has agreed to tell their side of the story.

Balboa: I’d just like to point out that we now have more confirmed cryptids in this studio than most researchers find in an entire career. "Black cat modeling a white 'I Am Not a Myth' T-shirt featuring an image of Nessie emerging from a misty lake surrounded by mountains."

"Black cat modeling a white 'I Am Not a Myth' T-shirt featuring an image of Nessie emerging from a misty lake surrounded by mountains."

Banner: Before we continue, viewers may notice that my co-anchor has chosen attire that some might interpret as expressing an opinion on today’s topic.

Balboa: It’s not expressing an opinion if the evidence is sitting in the next studio.

Banner: That remains a matter of debate.

Balboa: Not according to the guest list.

Banner: Very well. Never before in the history of journalism have three more iconic cryptids gathered around the same table. We now join our special guests for an open discussion moderated by WMEO correspondent Pumpkin Spice. Joining the conversation are Nessie, Bigfoot, and Mothman. Let’s listen in.

The Round Table

Pumpkin Spice: Thank you, Banner. I’d like to welcome our guests to the WMEO studio. Joining us today are Nessie, Bigfoot, and Mothman. Thank you all for being here.

I realize this may be a sensitive topic, but I’d like to begin with a simple question. How did each of you react when researchers and commentators suggested that you might not exist?

🦕 Nessie: “Poorly. Very poorly.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “We’ve covered that.”

🦕 Nessie: “Fifty years of interviews and one researcher calls me a myth.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “Bigfoot?”

🦶 Bigfoot: “At least they didn’t call me imaginary.”

🦕 Nessie: “That’s because they called you a bear.”

🦶 Bigfoot: “A bear with mange.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “And how did that make you feel?”

🦶 Bigfoot: “Insulted. Do I look like a bear?”

🦕 Nessie: “A little.”

🦶 Bigfoot: “Traitor.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “Mothman?”

🦋 Mothman: “I envy him.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “You envy being called a bear with mange?”

🦋 Mothman: “At least that’s an explanation. Most people think I’m a blurry photograph and poor life choices.”

And What about Champ

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “Nessie, you’ve been unusually quiet while Bigfoot discussed being mistaken for a bear.”

🦕 Nessie: “I’m thinking about Champ.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “Champ? The Lake Champlain monster?” A distant, dark-colored long-necked creature swims on a blue lake, with only the head, neck, and part of the back visible above the water. A narrow shoreline and dark tree line appear in the background. The image is somewhat grainy and low resolution, giving the bird a silhouette-like appearance against the water.

🦕 Nessie: “We’ve been attending cryptid conventions together for years.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “And?”

🦕 Nessie: “If I’m officially a myth now, what happens to Champ?”

🦶 Bigfoot: “I think he’s still under review.”

🦕 Nessie: “Today it’s me. Tomorrow it’s Champ.”

🦋 Mothman: “You think they’re coming for Champ next?”

🦕 Nessie: “I’ve seen how this works. First they question your existence. Then they publish articles. Next thing you know they’re explaining you with weather balloons and fish.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “A difficult time for lake monsters everywhere.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “Any final thoughts?”

🦕 Nessie: “Check on Champ.”

🦶 Bigfoot: “Check on Champ.”

🦋 Mothman: “Seriously, somebody call Champ.”

🎤 Pumpkin Spice: “A message of unity from the cryptid community tonight”

Champ, the legendary Lake Champlain monster, sits in a cozy armchair beside a fireplace, reading a newspaper with a headline questioning whether Nessie is a myth. Mugs of tea, books about lake monsters, and framed cryptid-themed signs decorate the room, while a lake is visible through the window.