When Biology Betrays You
Cats are crepuscular creatures — meaning they’re wired to be most active at dawn and dusk. In theory, that should make them perfect companions for humans. They nap when we nap, they prowl when we’re vaguely functional, and everyone lives in harmony.
In theory.
Meanwhile, my sleep schedule has begun wandering around like a toddler in a mall. My Fitbit regularly tattles on me, reporting a grand total of 4–5 hours of sleep most nights. I make up the rest with naps whenever the universe allows.
New Habits, New Chaos
Two things have changed in my household recently:
- I’ve started doing deep breathing/meditation at bedtime.
Shockingly, it’s helping. I fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer — aside from the 3 a.m. bathroom pilgrimage. - I got an AeroGarden.
More on that in another post, but let’s just say I did not read ahead in the instructions. I followed them step by step like a good little rule-follower… until the very end, where a tiny footnote casually mentioned that the grow light is on a timer.
A timer I unknowingly set for 4:30 p.m.
Which means the grow light blazes like a miniature sun all night long and shuts off at 7:30 a.m.
Great for the plants.
Fine for me — I’m in the bedroom.
But the cats?
Does a Midnight Sun Scramble Kitty Brains?
This is the question that now haunts me.
Because last night, around midnight, something woke me up. I cracked one eye open and saw… ears. Two little ears at mattress level. I reached out and felt fluff.
Banner.
Sitting silently on my step stool, perfectly positioned so his face was level with mine. Staring. Unblinking. Like a Victorian ghost child but with whiskers.
I rolled slightly, and another shape entered my field of vision.
For a moment, I thought Snoopy in his vulture pose had materialized in my bedroom.
Nope.
Balboa, perched on my nightstand, looming over me like I was a snack he wasn’t sure he was allowed to eat.
They should have been asleep.
They should NOT have been conducting a midnight surveillance operation.
The Weeklong Experiment
The AeroGarden has only been running two nights. I’m giving it a week. If Banner and Balboa continue their nocturnal sentry duties, I may have to reset the grow light so it runs during the day instead of lighting up the house like a UFO landing pad.
I adore my cats.
But being stared down by two furry gremlins at midnight?
Spooky.