Cats I’ve Known… and Still Don’t Understand
I’ve lived with cats my whole life, and I still don’t understand them. I’m no Jackson Galaxy — I’m barely Jackson Cul‑de‑Sac. Every cat I’ve ever had has been their own brand of strange, but Banner and Balboa have taken things to a whole new level.
Meet Banner: The Chunky Orange Desk Ornament
Banner is my medium‑haired, chunky orange boy who believes my desk is his personal lounge. He stretches across my keyboard like he’s claiming territory.
Pet him too much? He bites. Stop petting him too soon? He bites. Banner believes biting is a love language.
He loves paper bags and the crinkly cat tunnel — but only if it’s placed directly in the middle of the living room like a trip hazard. Move it two inches? It becomes dead to him.
Wet food? Banner tries to bury it like it’s a crime scene. Crunchies only, please.
Meet Balboa: The Black Streak of Chaos
Balboa is a completely different brand of weird.
Crinkly treat bags? Terrifying. I opened a bag of corn chips and he evaporated — one moment head‑butting me, the next a black streak fleeing the room.
Banner’s beloved tunnel? Balboa pretends it doesn’t exist. He ran through it once last week and immediately regretted it.
But give him a cardboard box and packing paper and he’ll crinkle and rearrange until everything meets his artistic standards. Then he curls up inside like a cozy little gremlin.
Balboa’s Signature Move: The Needle‑Claw Attention Tap
When Balboa wants attention, he doesn’t bite — he pricks. Tiny, deliberate needle‑claws, just enough to say “Notice me,” but not enough to draw blood. It’s like being tapped by a very small, very demanding sewing machine.
Doorbell Drama: Two Cats, Two Reactions
Doorbell rings? Balboa becomes a ghost, usually hiding behind the headboard. Banner becomes a Walmart greeter, racing me to the door like he’s expecting company.
The WMEO Chaos Crew
They are opposites in every possible way… but they’re my team, my chaos crew, the heart of WMEO.
Cooperative? Never. Entertaining? Always.