Bald Is Beautiful (But Not for Cat Furniture)

Banner and Balboa exploring the new cat tree 2023


🐾 The Balding Cat Tree Chronicles

When Inspiration Hits at the Worst Possible Time

There are days when I can’t think of a single blog idea, and then there are days like today — when I’m running late, haven’t even finished my coffee, and suddenly inspiration hits me right between the eyes.

The Shocking Discovery

I walked past the cat tree and froze.
Not because a cat was dangling off it like a circus performer.
Not because someone had knocked it over again.
No.
Because the thing is bald.

 

I’m talking down to the plywood, like a bar of hotel soap that’s been used by every guest since 1998. The once‑fluffy carpeting is now a memory, a suggestion, a rumor. If you squint, you can almost imagine what it used to look like.

Gratitude… Sort Of

Now, logically, I should be thrilled. If Banner and Balboa are scratching the cat tree, they’re not scratching my furniture. That’s a win. A victory. A tiny miracle. I should be doing a celebratory lap around the living room.

But here’s the thing:
Cat trees are not cheap.
And being on a fixed income means I can’t just stroll into PetSmart, point at the deluxe model, and say, “Wrap it up, boys.”

The GoFundMe That Will Never Be

So naturally, my brain — helpful as ever — whispered,
“Maybe you should start a GoFundMe for a new cat tree.”
Don’t worry. I’m kidding.
(Probably.)

The Boys Take Credit

Meanwhile, Banner and Balboa are standing proudly beside their handiwork like tiny contractors who just completed a major renovation. If you ask them, the exposed wood is a design choice. Very modern. Very minimalist. Very ‘we did this on purpose, Mom.’

Balboa even sat on the top perch, surveying the room like a king on a throne made of splinters. Banner, of course, immediately tried to chew the corner, because why not add dental work to the list of future expenses.

Turning Chaos Into Content

So here I am, running late, staring at a cat tree that looks like it’s been through a war, and thinking, “Well… at least it’s a blog post.”

And honestly? That’s the joy of living with cats. They destroy things, they cost money, they shed on everything you own — and somehow, they still give you something to laugh about on a Tuesday morning when you’re already behind schedule.

Stay tuned. The boys are already eyeing the curtains, so I’m sure Part Two is coming.


 

THE FURRY AND THE RESTLESS

In a world where cardboard boxes hold power, alliances shift like sunbeams, and brothers battle for territory, a new saga emerges. Premiering today on Cat TV: The Furry and the Restless. The pilot episode is already causing a stir in living rooms everywhere — and you, dear reader, get the first look.

Balboa’s beloved cardboard retreat, the emotional support box whose invasion sparked the dramatic events of this episode of The Furry and the Restless.

The cardboard box Balboa claims as his personal fortress — the scene of the great kitty soap‑opera showdown.

 


⭐ THE SCRIPT — THE FURRY AND THE RESTLESS: Episode 1 — The Box Betrayal

[Opening Narration]
In a quiet condo in Taunton, two brothers navigate love, betrayal, and the fragile politics of shared cardboard real estate. This… is The Furry and the Restless.

 

 


Scene 1: The Living Room — Early Afternoon

Balboa lounges regally on Deborah’s lap, purring like a villain plotting something tender.

Balboa (internal monologue):
“At last… peace. My sanctuary awaits. It’s my box and my fortress. My emotional support cardboard. Soon I shall retire to it and contemplate my greatness.”

Banner wanders in with the energy of someone who has never once considered consequences.

Banner:
“Oh look. A box.”

He steps in. He settles. The paper crinkles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Balboa (eyes widening):
“…No. No. NO.”


Scene 2: The Betrayal

Balboa launches off Deborah’s lap like a furry missile fired from a catapult.

Balboa:
“ABSOLUTELY NOT! THAT IS MY SANCTUARY!”

Deborah (caught in the crossfire):
“BALBOA—! OH FOR THE LOVE OF—”

Banner (blinking slowly):
“…What?”

Chaos erupts. A dramatic zoom‑in on Balboa’s betrayed face.

 


Scene 3: The Confrontation

Balboa circles the box like a panther circling a rival king.

Balboa:
“You dare enter my cardboard kingdom? My sacred retreat? My PAPER‑LINED HAVEN?”

Banner:
“I just… sat down.”

Balboa:
“You have violated the Treaty of Cardboardia!”

Banner:
“I didn’t know there was a treaty.”

Balboa:
“There is NOW.”

 


Scene 4: Deborah Attempts Peace Talks

Deborah stands between them like a weary UN diplomat.

Deborah:
“Gentlemen. Please. It’s a box.”

Balboa:
“A BOX OF GREAT EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE.”

Banner:
“…It’s comfy.”

Deborah:
“Banner, honey, maybe try the OTHER box?”

Banner:
“There’s another box?”

Balboa:
“NOT THAT ONE EITHER.”


Scene 5: The Aftermath

Balboa retreats to the top of the cat tree, glaring down like a dethroned monarch plotting revenge.

Balboa (dramatically):
“I have been wronged. I shall scream at 3 PM to express my suffering.”

Banner (already napping):
“Okay.”

My Box

Deborah (sighing):
“And so it begins…”


End of Episode 1

Next time on The Furry and the Restless:
Will Balboa reclaim his cardboard throne?
Will Banner accidentally start another war?
Will Deborah ever get through a day without feline drama?

Stay tuned.


 

Banner King of Chaos, Director of Illumination & Head of Printer Operations

 

Banner the ornage cat reves up with a cup of Joe before planning his daily does of chaos

The Internet Is Full of Cute Cats… But None Like Mine

The internet is overflowing with adorable felines.

There are the upside‑down cuddlers, Doug the 1‑der Cat and his lobster alter‑ego, the Business Cats, and the Canadian trio — Pudding, Onyx, and Olive — who run the Oreo Cat empire. Milo and Poppy (the black cat who never blinks) always deliver drama, and Maisie is the newest chaos intern in that household. Walter the Wizard Cat casts spells daily. If you displease him you will be sent to the VOID.

And then there are Kurt and Gary — the emotional support duo of the entire internet. Kurt, with his soulful eyes and “I’ve seen things” expression, radiates the energy of a cat who has read your diary and still loves you. Gary, meanwhile, is pure serotonin in whisker form — the kind of cat who could fix a bad day just by existing. Together they’re the quiet heartbeat of Cat Internet, the ones you check on like old friends.

I love them all.
But none of them — none — get into the kind of nonsense Banner does.

Banner’s Resume: Director of Illumination

You may recall Banner’s 3 a.m. hobby: turning on the bathroom light.
Not with a paw tap.
Not with a gentle nudge.
No — with bite marks in the switch.

Every light switch in this house is now in protective custody behind child‑proof covers. Banner considers this a personal challenge.

Nanaki, the orange upside‑down kitty, might give him a run for his money — Nanaki recently learned to turn on the oven.

Meet Nanki and his long suffering hooman

Banner hasn’t figured that out yet, but he does enjoy warming his behind on mine whenever it’s on. So we’re… halfway there.

And Now: Head of Printer Operations

But here’s where Banner truly sets himself apart.

Banner has decided the printer is his personal chaos button, and he is committed to pressing it at every opportunity.

This cat has exactly two modes:

  1. Sleeping like a Victorian child in a painting
  2. Causing administrative disasters

He’s not trying to print anything.
He’s summoning the Paper Spirits.
In his little cat brain, the logic is simple:

“I push this button, and the house makes snow.”

Incident #1: The Paper Blizzard

The first time he found the print button, I got one blank page.
Not ideal, but survivable.

When I returned home later, the entire paper tray was empty. Pages were scattered across the floor like confetti after a parade. The culprit? Snoozing peacefully in the bedroom, pretending innocence.

Incident #2: The Full Diagnostic Suite

A couple days of peace passed.
Then Banner apparently thought:

“I haven’t caused any chaos lately.”

I heard the printer whir to life.
There he was — sitting smugly on top of it like a tiny furry CEO.

I expected another blank page.
Nope.

He triggered a full diagnostic.

Four pages of printer diagnostics.
A full‑color test page.
And then — because he’s thorough — a one‑page printer report.

At this point, the printer needs a warning label:

“Not cat‑proof. Not even a little.”

Banner’s IT Career Begins

This cat isn’t playing anymore. He has:

  • Initiated a system audit
  • Run a diagnostic suite
  • Possibly applied for a job in IT

Honestly, the printer should automatically stamp each page:

“Triggered by: Banner the Menace.”

Emergency Protocol: Power Button

That was the last straw.
I turned off the power button.

They say most cats never figure out power buttons — they’re too flush, too boring, and they don’t make satisfying noises. Banner prefers the chaos buttons: the ones that beep, whirr, and spit out paper like a Vegas slot machine.

But on my printer, all the buttons are flush… and he’s already mastered those. I may not be safe unless I unplug the machine entirely.

Banner’s Troubleshooting Sequence

If he tries again, I fully expect him to follow the classic cat IT protocol:

  1. Stare at printer
  2. Tap it once
  3. Tap it harder
  4. Sit on it
  5. Yell at it
  6. Walk away like he never cared

He may not have been able to change the lightbulb for me, but he can run my printer like an IT pro.

The Printer’s Future Looks Grim

Who knows what he’ll get into next — especially once he borrows the orange cat brain cell again. Whatever he thinks of next, I just hope it doesn’t involve electricity, diagnostics, or anything with a paper tray.

Banner and his old printer before it bit the dust. I wonder if it got clogged with orange cat hair?


 

Chipmunks The clowns of Forest and Field

Canadian chipmunk from Banf . Canada


A Chance Encounter With a Canadian Chipmunk

Recently I came across a photo of a Canadian chipmunk, supposedly taken in Banff National Park. The little guy looked like he’d survived a long, hard winter and had plenty of stories to tell. It got me thinking about these tiny rodents.

 


Cute or “Just Rats With Better PR”?

I’m firmly in the “chipmunks are cute” camp. I know plenty of people who insist they’re just rats in better outfits and would be happy to see them gone. But to me, chipmunks — along with their cousins the squirrels, prairie dogs, and other assorted rodents — add a spark of life to an ordinary day.

Banner and Balboa would absolutely agree. They spend hours at the window watching chipmunks sprint, freeze, and zig‑zag around the yard. Of course, being cats, I’m sure they’re imagining a lively snack if they ever managed to get outside.


Western Chipmunks: A Different Look Out WestWyoming Chipmunk

When I was in Wyoming, I spent a whole morning watching a pair of Western chipmunks. Naturally, I took a few photos — who could resist? They blended beautifully into the rocks and sagebrush, and they were definitely different from the chipmunks here in the East. Their colors felt more muted, more desert‑washed, like the landscape had rubbed off on them.

 

 


Lunch Buddies in the East

Back home, I like to see if I can coax the local chipmunks a little closer. I’ve shared my lunch with more than one — tossing out a French fry and watching the ritual unfold. They dart out, pause dramatically, then stuff the fry into their cheek pouches before sprinting back to safety. And then, of course, they’re right back again. They’re this perfect mix of bold and shy, and I find them absolutely adorable.


chipmunkClowns of the Forest and Field

I once heard someone say that squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails and better PR. Chipmunks, though technically squirrels, feel more like comedians. If puffins are the clowns of the sea, then chipmunks must be the clowns of the forest and field.


North America’s Chipmunk Jackpot

Here’s a fun fact: of the 25 chipmunk species in the world, all but one live in North America. One lone species lives in Asia. Clearly, we hit the jackpot.


New England Chipmunk

So Where Do You Stand?

Love ’em or hate ’em, chipmunks definitely make an impression. So where do you fall on the chipmunk spectrum — adorable woodland clown or tiny striped menace?

Secretariat – When a Horse Becomes a Legend

Gone but not forgotten. “Bronze statue of Secretariat at Claiborne Farm in Kentucky, commemorating the Triple Crown winner’s historic career.”

 


A Tribute to Secretariat: America’s Super Horse

Now that Derby Day has come and gone for another year, I find myself thinking not just about the newest winner, but about the horse who still casts the longest shadow over the sport. Secretariat. Big Red. The legend who didn’t just win races — he redefined what greatness looked like on four legs.

Secretariat wasn’t simply fast. He was the Gretzky or Jordan of the racetrack — the kind of once‑in‑a‑generation athlete whose records don’t just stand; they dare anyone to even try. More than fifty years later, his times in all three Triple Crown races remain untouched. No other horse has come close.

The Making of a Legend

Born on March 30, 1970, Secretariat grew into a 16.2‑hand, 1,175‑pound chestnut with a stride so fluid it looked like he was skimming the ground. His conformation bordered on flawless, and during his three‑year‑old season he powered himself with 15 quarts of oats a day — fuel for the engine that would change racing forever.

In 1973, he became the first Triple Crown winner in 25 years. And he didn’t just win those races — he shattered them. His records in the Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and Belmont Stakes still stand today.

The Belmont That Became a Myth

Even if Secretariat had never run another race, the 1973 Belmont Stakes would have secured his immortality. That day, he didn’t just win the Triple Crown — he obliterated it.

He ran the mile and a half in 2:24 flat, the fastest time ever recorded at that distance. And he won by 31 lengths. The camera literally couldn’t keep the rest of the field in the same frame. It remains one of the most astonishing athletic performances ever captured on film.

A Horse Who Became an American Icon

Secretariat wasn’t just a champion; he was a cultural phenomenon. Magazine covers. Headlines. Crowds who came simply to watch him walk. He was syndicated for millions under the agreement that he would retire after his three‑year‑old season — a decision that allowed him to begin a second career as a sire.

His influence is still everywhere. Nineteen of the twenty expected starters in the 2026 Kentucky Derby trace back to him. His bloodline continues to shape the sport.

He even made ESPN’s list of the 50 Greatest Athletes of the Century — the only non‑human on the list.

The Heart of a Champion

When Secretariat died at age 19 from laminitis, the necropsy revealed something that felt almost poetic: his heart was two and a half times the size of a typical Thoroughbred’s. Not diseased — just extraordinary.

Most racehorses are buried with only their head, heart, and hooves. Secretariat was buried whole at Claiborne Farm in Paris, Kentucky. Because how do you separate a legend into pieces?

The Legacy That Still Gallops On

Secretariat earned over $1.3 million on the track — more than $7.7 million today — and commanded a $70,000 stud fee. But his true legacy isn’t measured in money. It lives in the records that refuse to fall, the bloodlines that still dominate, and the way his Belmont replay can make even a casual viewer feel goosebumps.

For those of us who grew up horse‑crazy, Secretariat wasn’t just a racehorse. He was the embodiment of every dream we ever had about what a horse could be.

He still is.

Big Red forever.