Florida Looked Good… Until the Flying Cockroaches

 

At my age, if I wake up and nothing hurts, I assume I’m dead. My knees are getting to the point where they ache even when I’m lying in bed at night. That walker in the corner from my hip replacement is starting to look pretty good these days. And now my shoulders have joined the chorus.

At first, I blamed the cold weather — snow, sub‑zero temps, the whole New England winter package. Suddenly, Florida was looking really good. I was serious enough that I actually considered selling my condo and heading south.

 

But then reality set in.
Sorry, JR… looks like any move is officially on hold.

There are plenty of reasons to think twice about relocating to the Sunshine State. And no, I’m not even going to get into the political atmosphere — we’ll leave that simmering on the back burner.


Florida Wildlife (a.k.a. My Deal‑Breakers)

The number one reason I’m having second thoughts? Palmetto bugs.

I hate — no, that’s not strong enough — I abhor cockroaches. We had an issue in our building here in Taunton this year, but at least the management company jumped on it immediately and brought in pest control. I have NEVER lived anywhere with bugs, and I have no intention of starting now.

So what are Palmetto bugs?
Well, imagine giant flying cockroaches. That’s it. That’s the whole horror story.

And if that’s not enough, Florida also has killer bees, fire ants, swarms of mosquitoes, and snakes. Really big snakes. The state is being invaded by pythons and anacondas. In the immortal words of Indiana Jones: “Snakes… why did it have to be snakes?”

 

Then there’s Florida’s unofficial mascot: the alligator. They don’t bother me too much — they were there first, after all. The whole state is basically one big tropical swamp. You might even spot a Skunk Ape on a lonely road at night if you’re lucky… or unlucky.

 


More Reasons to Skip Florida

I gave up on Hawaii because the cost of living was outrageous, and Florida seems determined to follow in its footsteps.

1. The cost of living can outpace your budget

Housing prices are soaring, homeowners’ insurance is skyrocketing, and the overall cost of living keeps climbing. The median home value is already higher than the national average, and insurance premiums are only going to rise thanks to hurricanes, tropical storms, and rising sea levels.

2. The heat and humidity can get oppressive

Your utility bills will shoot through the roof as you try to survive the summer with nonstop air conditioning. “Hot and sticky” becomes a lifestyle.

3. Health care isn’t as accessible as you’d expect

You’d think a state full of retirees would have a seamless health care system — but that’s exactly the problem. The demand is enormous, especially in big cities. Long wait times, crowded facilities, and high costs are common.
A study from Fidelity Investments estimates that a 65‑year‑old couple retiring in Florida would need around $315,000 just for health care in retirement.

4. Fraud is a real concern

Florida has some of the highest rates of elder fraud in the country. According to the FBI’s 2024 Elder Fraud Report, seniors lost $4.8 billion nationally — and Florida was in the top three states for losses. Not exactly comforting.

5. No income tax sounds great… until it isn’t

The lack of state income tax means the state has less money to invest in infrastructure. Florida earned a “C” rating from the American Society of Civil Engineers. Aging roadways, limited public transit, and inadequate wastewater systems don’t exactly scream “retirement paradise.”


Bottom Line

For now, I’ll stay put and deal with the cold and snow. Massachusetts isn’t the best state for retirees — it’s expensive, and winter is no joke — but we have excellent health care, and I have my condo. I’m settled, at least for the moment.

 

And honestly? Waking up with a few aches and pains may not be fun… but it’s still better than waking up next to a giant flying cockroach.


 

It’s Raining …Lizards?

🦎 When Florida Gets Chilly and Iguanas Start Falling: A Horror Story in Three Acts

Looks like a crime scene

On this, the coldest day of the year so far, it feels like the perfect moment to remind everyone that not everything in South Florida is oranges and sunshine. They get cold too — and when they do, it doesn’t just rain. It rains iguanas.

Every region has its own brand of weather drama.
New England gets nor’easters.
The Midwest gets tornadoes.
Florida?
Florida gets frozen iguanas falling out of trees like scaly Christmas ornaments.

Yes, this is real.
Yes, it happens every winter.
And yes, your skeptical friend is welcome to Google it — preferably while standing under a sturdy awning.

❄️ Why Iguanas Go Full “Fainting Goat”

Iguanas are cold‑blooded, which means when temperatures dip below about 45°F, their bodies hit the reptile version of “sleep mode.” They lose muscle control, freeze in place, and if they happen to be lounging in a tree — as iguanas love to do — gravity politely escorts them to the ground.

It’s not elegant.
>It’s not graceful.
>It’s not quiet.

But it is science.

🦎 Are They Dead?

Usually not. They’re just cold‑stunned, which is nature’s way of saying, “Hold on, rebooting…” Once the sun comes back out, they thaw, blink, and wander off like nothing happened — leaving bewildered humans clutching their coffee and questioning reality.

 

 

🗣️ Try Explaining This to a Doubter

This is where the fun begins.
You get to say things like:

  • “No, really, they fall.”
  • “No, they’re not dead.”
  • “Yes, Florida officials warn people about it.”
  • “No, I’m not confusing this with a Syfy movie.”

Honestly, the only thing more Florida than falling iguanas is someone insisting it doesn’t happen.

🐊 Meanwhile, in the Florida Horror Cinematic Universe…

Let’s be honest: Florida doesn’t need help being terrifying.
This is the same state that gave us:

  • Alligators in swimming pools
  • Snakes in toilets
  • And the pièce de résistance: flying cockroaches (politely rebranded as “Palmetto bugs,” as if a cute name makes them less horrifying)

So yes — iguanas falling from trees during a cold snap fits right in. It’s practically a documentary waiting to happen.


🎬 In Closing 

If Stephen King ever runs out of ideas, he doesn’t need to look far — he just needs a lawn chair, a cold front, and a South Florida tree full of iguanas.

When Florida Gets Cold, the Manatees Remember Where to Go

A Sudden Cold Snap in Crystal River

February 1, 2026: Photos coming out of Crystal River show manatees packing into Three Sisters Springs, clustering together like oversized gray dumplings as the cold weather hangs on. Whenever Florida gets a rare chill, the manatees make a beeline for the warmest water they can find — and this week, they’ve been pouring into the springs by the hundreds.

A Memory From 2017 That Still Sticks With Me

Hearing about the cold weather down there instantly pulled me back to my own visit in 2017, right in the wake of Hurricane Irma. The world above water was a mess of downed branches and storm debris, but beneath the surface, the springs were calm, almost sacred. And in that quiet blue world, I met a mama manatee and her “tiny” baby.

Chopping on Rope

The “Tiny” Baby Who Wasn’t Tiny at All

I use tiny loosely.
The calf was estimated at around 50 pounds — basically the size and shape of a fire plug with flippers. He was doing his best to look innocent while nibbling on the ropes dangling from the dock, like a toddler caught chewing on the furniture. His mother floated nearby with the patience of someone who had already accepted that her child was going to be “that kid.”

Manatee

That moment stayed with me. Maybe it was the contrast — the chaos of the hurricane versus the gentleness of these animals. Maybe it was the way the baby kept sneaking back to those ropes like they were the best snack in Florida. Whatever it was, I’ve had a soft spot for manatees ever since.

Baby Manatee

Why Cold Weather Hits Manatees So Hard

When water temperatures drop below 68 degrees, manatees are at risk of cold‑stress syndrome — a dangerous condition that can cause fatigue, skin lesions, and even death. The springs around Crystal River stay a steady 72 degrees year‑round, making them one of the most important winter refuges for these gentle giants.

Manatee in the Wild

So when the temperatures fall, they crowd into the springs not because it’s comfortable, but because it’s necessary.

How We Can Help

Cold snaps remind us that manatees aren’t just adorable “sea potatoes.” They’re survivors — but they’re survivors who need a little help.
A few simple things make a real difference:

  • Giving them space in the springs
  • Supporting seagrass restoration
  • Keeping waterways clean
  • Slowing down boats
  • Backing rescue and rehabilitation organizations

A Place They Can Always Count On

Every winter, the manatees return to the springs because they know it’s the one place that won’t let them down. The least we can do is make sure that stays true.


 

Groundhog Day, The Legend Continues


Groundhog Day: Shadows, Legends, and One Very Busy Groundhog

If you woke up this morning and thought, Wait… is it Groundhog Day already? — you’re in good company. February sneaks up on all of us, but Punxsutawney Phil never misses his cue. Today is the day we turn our eyes to Gobbler’s Knob and wait for the world’s most famous meteorological rodent to decide our seasonal fate.

A Legend Born in the Shadows

Punxsutawney Phil has been predicting the arrival of spring since 1887 — or so the legend goes. According to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, Phil is not just a groundhog but the groundhog, the same one for nearly 140 years thanks to a magical “elixir of life” lovingly administered each summer. Reality tells us groundhogs live about 14 years in captivity, but the story? The story insists Phil is eternal.

And yes — officially, there has only ever been one Phil. Unofficially? Let’s just say the Inner Circle keeps those details tucked tighter than their tuxedo collars.

From Candlemas to Gobbler’s Knob

Groundhog Day’s roots stretch back to Candlemas, when Christians brought candles to be blessed for good fortune through the rest of winter. German settlers later added an animal to the tradition — originally a hedgehog.

When they arrived in America and found no hedgehogs in sight, they turned to a plump, hibernating stand‑in: the groundhog.

Cue Punxsutawney Phil, stage left.

How Phil Makes the Call

Each February 2nd, Phil emerges from his burrow after a long winter’s nap:

  • Shadow spotted: six more weeks of winter
  • No shadow: early spring on the way

The ceremony draws thousands before dawn — fireworks, music, banquets, and a crowd that treats Phil like the furry celebrity he is.

 

Phil’s Family & Fun Facts

Phil isn’t alone in his weather‑predicting empire. He lives with his wife, Phyllis, and in 2024 they welcomed twins, Sunny and Shadow. He’s also met presidents, appeared on Oprah, and once wore a yellow ribbon in honor of American hostages.

Why We Keep Watching

Maybe Phil’s accuracy isn’t perfect (NOAA gently reminds us of that), but Groundhog Day isn’t really about meteorology. It’s about tradition, whimsy, and the joy of believing — even for a moment — that a small creature in Pennsylvania holds the keys to spring.

Honestly? On a cold February morning in New England, that’s exactly the kind of magic we need and if Phil wants six more weeks of winter, he can come shovel my walkway and explain himself.


UPDATE

Wreck‑It Banner and the 5 A.M. Meow Choir

 

Banner’s Brilliant (and Infuriating) Brain Returns

Sometimes Banner is just too smart for his own good — and definitely too smart for my sleep schedule. He’s back to his old tricks, and I’m one light‑switch incident away from investing in blackout curtains and earplugs.

The First Time He Turned on the Bathroom Light

He was still just a kitten when he learned how to flip the bathroom light on. I’ll never forget that moment. The bathroom is right off the bedroom, and suddenly my whole room lit up like a Broadway stage. I shot awake convinced someone had broken in… only to find one very satisfied orange cat who had apparently decided I’d slept long enough.

Banner Making himself at home in the bathroom sink

Between turning the light on and his other favorite pastime — opening the medicine cabinet and knocking everything onto the floor — my chances of a full night’s sleep were slim. My solution back then was simple: childproof covers on the switch and closing the bathroom door at bedtime. Peace returned.

For a while.

The New Trick: The Fan Switch at 3 A.M.

Now Banner has discovered the second switch — the one outside the bathroom that controls the vent fan and a dimmer light. Not as bright, but that fan hum at 3 a.m. could wake the dead. There’s nothing quite like rolling over and seeing the bathroom door outlined in a soft glow… and realizing the switch now has tiny teeth marks.

Look closely. You can see a tiny tooth mark

 

Yes, teeth marks. Banner doesn’t bump the switch — he bites it. My own little Wreck‑It Ralph in fur.

At least he hasn’t figured out how to open the door. Yet.

Looks like I’ll be buying more childproof switch covers. Again.

Balboa the Bed Hog and Banner the Bench Sleeper

Banner may be the engineer of chaos, but he’s not the cuddler. He prefers sleeping on the bench next to the bed, keeping a dignified distance. Balboa, on the other hand, wants to sleep on my face. Since I only have a twin bed, space is limited — and Balboa takes the lion’s (or should I say panther’s) share.

If I get up in the night, he immediately stretches his full, impressive length across the entire mattress. No room for Mama. And if I try to move him? Deeply offended.

Balboa’s rather impressive length

The 5 A.M. Meow Choir

Between the nighttime shenanigans and the early morning wake‑up calls — Banner usually starts the meow choir around 5 a.m., with Balboa chiming in for harmony — I spend most days wandering around in a sleep‑deprived fog.

Kitty Choir in 2 part harmony

Life with cats can be such a joy.